


This Feeling

by nightStar17



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 08:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11332158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightStar17/pseuds/nightStar17
Summary: Sehun is a student president. He is perfect.Luhan loves Sehun and everyone knows that, including Sehun.But Sehun can't love Luhan back because he is attracted to a mysterious poem writer of the poem that he found in the library.But Luhan never knows when to stop.Until Sehun himself tells him to.Can he really stop loving Sehun?"Sehun is like a star for me, even though he is too far for me to reach, I'm fine just to watch him from afar.""That's why I'm telling you to stop. Even though you keep being there for me, I'm afraid that I can't be there for you. I don't have that feeling for you, Luhan. I'm sorry if it hurts you.""I'm sure you'll find someone better.""I've ever heard that even there is a  guy that makes you smile 100 times, you will still back to that one guy who makes you cry. Since I don't want you to be the guy that makes me cry, can you make me smile instead? It's okay even if it's just once, I'll count it as 100 times."





	This Feeling

"Sehun-ahh. I bring you milk." Luhan happily put the box of milk in front of Sehun.

They were in the classroom. They were currently the second year of high school.

Sehun nodded and smiled.

Luhan always did that every morning and that was the same answer that he got every day.

It was enough for Luhan, a small smile from Sehun.

Sehun was perfect for Luhan.

"Sehun is like a star for me, even though he is too far for me to reach, I'm fine just to watch him from afar." Luhan told Jongin, his best friend who sat beside him.

Luhan sat at the very back of the class while Sehun was sitting in the front row.

Luhan always complained to Chanyeol that he had to sit behind Sehun, but when Chanyeol offered to switch place with Luhan, Mrs. Jeon against it instantly saying that Chanyeol would be just talking at the back. Luhan could only pout sadly.

But it was still okay, he could still watch Sehun from the back, after telling Chanyeol to move aside.

 

 

It was lunch time. Luhan brought his lunch box to Sehun's table.

"Sehun-ahh, let's have lunch together."

"Luhan, I--"

Luhan pulled out another lunch box. Sehun knew it.

"My mom packs it for you." Luhan said while beaming.

Sehun sighed.

Being the nice guy he was, he had lunch with Luhan.

"Yah!! Luhan!!" Luhan stared at Chen at the back.

"What?"

Chen scoffed.

"You are really a shameless guy, aren't you? Can't you see that Sehun clearly doesn't want to have lunch with you? You force him every single day!" Chen said.

"Shameless?"

"You've been doing that since elementary school, right? Why don't you get tired? Just watching it even makes me sick!"

"Mind your own business then." Luhan simply said.

"As expected! You're really something, Luhan."

"So what? I love Sehun and if you're not okay with that, just fuck off!"

Chen laughed.

"I'm just saying that because I pity you, Luhan. You know that Sehun never loves you." Chen smirked.

Sehun looked at Luhan.

He didn't have that feeling for Luhan, but he didn't want Luhan to get hurt because of him.

"Stop it, Chen!" Sehun said calmly without looking back at Chen.

"Ohhh... Mr. President, you really are something too. You know it so well that, that stupid guy over there is totally head over heels for you but you still keep him around even though you don't love him. Is it fun, Mr. President?"

Luhan's eyes widened.

"Yah!!" Luhan scolded.

"Just stating the fact." Chen said annoyingly.

"Don't listen to him, Sehun-ahh." Luhan told Sehun.

Sehun continued to eat his lunch.

Luhan was sending invisible fire daggers towards Chen who replied with a smirk.

 

 

"Wooaahhh Luhan-ahh, you learn quickly." Chanyeol told Luhan.

Luhan had requested Chanyeol to teach him to play guitar.

Luhan smiled.

"You're really bold, Luhan-ahh. How long has it been?"

"What?"

"Chasing Sehun?"

Luhan laughed.

"Hmm..." Luhan put the guitar down.

"5 years?"

"That's really long."

Luhan nodded.

"But Luhan-ahh, what makes you like Sehun that much?"

Luhan smiled.

"The first time I saw him, it was the fifth grade of elementary school. I remembered that he was the guy who gave me his umbrella. Not long after that I found out that he was the same age with me but in the other class. I saw him on the street one day, he helped an old woman to cross the street. He was such an angel." Luhan smiled.

"And one day, I saw him played guitar after school. He was really cool. I've been keeping my eyes for him."

"And at the sixth grade, we were in the same class. Turned out that he was the smartest guy in the class. And his face, it was hard to erase from my mind since then."

"Wooaahhh... Long time crush. But is Sehun that popular back in elementary school?"

Luhan nodded.

"He is always the popular one. That's why it's hard to approach him."

Chanyeol scoffed.

"You were shy back then?"

Luhan laughed.

"Shy? I don't think so. I just don't have the courage back then. But I secretly sending him letter though." Luhan said and smiled shyly.

"Love letter?"

"No. Just a letter telling him how wonderful he is."

"I'm sorry to bring this up, Lu. But you do know that Sehun... He kind of doesn't--"

Luhan nodded.

"I know. I just want to love him, can't I? I don't care if he loves me back or not."

"But until when? I mean--"

"I don't know. Maybe after we graduate from high school?"

Chanyeol nodded.

"You'll find someone better in university." Chanyeol said and patted Luhan's back.

"I'm not sure if there is someone who is better than Sehun."

 

 

"Aiisshhh.. Mom is really unbelievable."

Luhan was sulking alone at the library table.

It was over school time, everyone had gone home.

He was stuck in the library with some other students.

Luhan's mom was a famous novel writer.

She had registered Luhan to take a writing lesson in a course place.

And Luhan got an assignment to write a poem.

Luhan believed that he had no talent in writing, but his mom thought otherwise.

"How do I even write a poem?"

Luhan ruffled his hair.

"At this rate, I won't have anything done. I should've watched Sehun instead."

Luhan knew that Sehun had basketball practice after school.

Luhan started to write, half way he stopped.

"This doesn't sound so good." Luhan crumbled the paper and threw it.

He wrote a new one.

He smiled in satisfaction when he finished.

"Better than nothing." Luhan mumbled and packed his things.

He walked out from the library and headed to the gym.

There was nobody there.

"Sehun must finish it already." Luhan pouted sadly.

Then Luhan walked to his course place.

 

 

Sehun just finished to take a bath after the basketball practice.

He remembered that he had to borrow a book from the library.

Sehun walked to the library, passing the empty hallway.

Fortunately, it wasn't close yet.

Sehun then went to get his book.

He looked at his watch.

He still had some time.

He decided to read for a while.

He walked to one of the tables and started to read.

When he looked up, he saw a crumbled paper on the table.

He thought it was rubbish and took it to throw it to the rubbish bin.

But when he looked at it.

He saw writing in it.

He opened the paper.

(Please imagine that this is a really awesome poem. It's the lyrics of Miracles in December by Silv3rT3ar.)

 

I am searching for the one I can’t see anymore  
I am listening for the one I can’t hear anymore  
I can see the things I couldn’t see  
Can hear the things I couldn’t hear  
You’ve give me this power ever since you left me right here

Before, I was selfish and I didn’t care about you  
I didn’t understand your heart; I was a fool  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that I’m trying to change

It seems as if everything in my world somehow reminds me of you  
Each snowflake in the sky is like a teardrop that came from you  
I wish that somehow you would appear  
I wish you’d be by my side, right here  
Even with this power, I still cannot bring you back to me

Before, I was selfish and I didn’t care about you  
I didn’t understand your heart; I was a fool  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that I’m trying to change

If I could freeze time, I’d go back to you  
I open this book and see the pictures of us two  
On that page, you and I…  
back then when there was “you and I”

I’m not strong, but I can change because of you  
Because of your love  
You changed my everything (My whole life and more)  
Everything (My world from before)

Before, I didn’t understand how precious love was  
I thought when it ended, everything would be just fine  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that my love will go on

If I could freeze time (Oh, if I could)  
I’d go back to you (I’d go back to you)  
I open this book (of memories)  
It has the pain that we both knew  
As my tears fade away…  
snow begins to fall just like that day

I’m still searching for the one I can’t see anymore  
I’m still listening for the one I can’t hear anymore

 

Sehun was stunned.

Sehun looked around, trying to find the writer of that beautiful poem.

He folded the paper and put it in his pocket.

After he got his book, Sehun took the bus home.

When he came to his bedroom, he quickly took out the paper.

He read it again and again.

When he turned the paper, he saw some erased characters.

It looked like they were written by pencil and erased.

Sehun tied to look at it carefully.

He found out that it must be Chinese characters.

The poem was written in English.

The two characters were hardly recognizable.

Reading the poem again, Sehun smiled.

"He must be some sweet calm boy." Sehun thought.

Since his high school was an all boys school, he assumed the writer would be a boy.

Sehun rewrote the poem.

He put the original poem into a frame and hang it in front of his desk.

Sehun looked at it.

Then his mind reminded him that he had to study.

He took his bag.

He saw a lollipop in his bag.

"Luhan." He thought.

Luhan had given him the lollipop earlier that day before he went to basketball practice.

Honestly, he felt bad for Luhan.

He had known that Luhan has feeling for him.

It was too obvious, but he tried to ignore it.

He didn't want to think and bother about that kind of stuffs.

He just concerned about his study all this time.

 

When he looked up, he looked at the poem again.

He started to create an image of the poem writer.

Sehun pictured him to be a shy boy who spent most of the time in the library.

"Who could it be?" Sehun thought.

And Sehun took a mental note that the writer knew Chinese.

He would really like to meet the writer.

Sehun shook his head to clear his thought.

 

 

"Luhan, please give this to Sehun." A first year boy gave Luhan a box.

Luhan was known as the leader of Sehun's fans club.

If you loved Sehun, you must know a certain Luhan.

Luhan never allowed anyone to directly give Sehun gifts.

Gifts, love confession, take photos, everything, you had to face Luhan first, that was the rule.

"What is that?" Luhan asked.

"Cookies." The boy answered.

Luhan nodded.

"Make sure to give it to Sehun. Thank you." That boy said quickly and ran off.

Not long after that, Sehun came to the class.

Luhan's smile was brighter than the flashlight.

"Sehun-ahh, someone gave you this, this, this, and this. And all of this." Luhan gave the gifts and letters to Sehun. Sehun put it in his table.

"And this..." Luhan said while giving Sehun a box of milk.

Luhan's smile never left his face.

Sehun took the milk.

"Thank you, Luhan." Sehun said.

Luhan scratched his nape sheepishly.

 

 

When it was lunch time, before Luhan could go to Sehun's table, Sehun walked to Luhan.

"I won't have lunch today, Luhan. I'm not hungry. I have something to do." Sehun said and smiled politely at Luhan.

"Ohh?" Luhan mumbled sadly, but a smile soon appeared again.

"What do you have to do?" Luhan asked.

"I have to go to the library. I--"

"Let's go together. I'll go with you." Luhan said and hook his hands to Sehun's.

"No. I--"

"I insist." Luhan said and pulled Sehun.

They walked pass Chen.

Chen scoffed.

Luhan stuck out his tongue at Chen to mock him.

 

"What are you doing, Sehun-ahh?" Luhan asked cluelessly.

Sehun walked around, looked like searching for something or rather someone.

"No, I'm just..." Sehun answered nonchalantly while still looking around.

He was trying to find the poem writer.

No one seemed to match his criteria to be the poem writer.

Sehun bit his lips.

"Let's go." He said finally.

"Done already?" Luhan asked cutely.

Sehun nodded and walked out.

 

"Sehun-ahh, are you free this Saturday?" Luhan asked Sehun who was studying.

Sehun looked at Luhan.

"Let's go to the cinema." Luhan said excitedly.

"Cinema?" Chanyeol asked from behind.

Luhan gave Chanyeol a look. Chanyeol got it immediately and leaned back to his seat.

"Let's go together, Sehun-ahh."

"I have to study for the exam, Luhan. Don't you have to too?"

"We can study after the movie." Luhan reasoned with a large grin.

"I don't think I can, Lu. I--"

Luhan's smile dropped but some seconds later, he smiled again even though not as bright as the usual.

"No problem. We can go next time." Luhan said.

Sehun nodded and went back to his book.

Luhan somehow knew Sehun wouldn't go with him, let alone just the two of them.

But still, trying wouldn't be that bad.

Each time he tried, he still got the same result.

Luhan walked to his seat at the back.

"Rejected again?" Jongin asked.

Luhan pouted.

"Let's go together." Jongin said, trying to cheer his best friend up.

Luhan shook his head.

"I have to study for the exam." Luhan said.

Jongin laughed and ruffled Luhan's hair.

"Yah!!" Luhan spatted.

Jongin laughed even more.

Luhan rested his chin on the table and watched Sehun's back.

"But until when?"

Luhan remembered Chanyeol asked him.

"I don't know. Maybe after we graduate from high school?"

They still have another year before the graduation.

"But what if I don't wanna stop?" Luhan thought while watching Sehun's back.

He didn't notice that Sehun was aware that Luhan was watching him. Sehun let out a tired sigh.

 

That day, when they went home.

It was raining.

Sehun didn't bring his umbrella.

He remembered he got a text that asked him to bring an umbrella, but he ignored it.

He was sure 200% that it was Luhan.

"I'm your friend, right? Friends should save each other's phone number. I'm saving yours in case something happens." Sehun remembered Luhan's excuse to get his phone number. Since then, he had been getting some cute text messages, who else could it be?

When he came back from the office after helped the teacher bringing the books, Sehun saw an umbrella on his desk.

There was nobody in the classroom.

Sehun packed his things.

He took the red umbrella.

He saw 'LU' was writing on the holder of the umbrella.

"I know it." Sehun thought.

Sehun walked home with that umbrella.

 

Luhan was soaked wet when he reached the bus stop, but a smile was pestering on his face.

He had left his umbrella for Sehun.

He hugged his wet body. It was so cool and he felt like freezing.

But image of Sehun walking home with his red umbrella made his heart felt kind of warm.

He didn't realized that Jongin was standing beside him until he spoke up.

"Are you crazy? Freezing like that and still smiling like an idiot." Jongin shook his head.

Luhan turned to look at him, giving him a smile.

Jongin put his jacket to Luhan's shoulders.

"Let's go." Jongin said when the bus came.

They rode the bus home.

 

 

The senior year had passed for them.

They graduated happily from high school.

As expected, Sehun had graduated with the best score.

His mom was so proud of him, but Luhan was prouder than her.

He was excitedly telling Sehun's mom how amazing Sehun was.

Sehun's mom was thankful that Sehun had a great friend like Luhan.

Luhan smiled sheepishly.

Earlier, Sehun's fans had come to see Sehun for the last time before he left high school.

Luhan threatened them not to go any closer to Sehun.

Luhan got to take his graduation photo with his mom and dad.

When Sehun took the photo with his mom, Luhan had stood between them.

Sehun's mom was happy to have Luhan with them.

Sehun's father couldn't make it because he was on a business trip abroad.

 

 

Then came the university life.

Sehun went to Seoul National University, art department. He was majoring in music and dance. 

Luhan who was obviously still didn't get over his crush, followed him to register in Seoul National University.

Fortunately he was accepted.

"Ohh... Sehun-ahh you're studying here too." Luhan greeted Sehun with a fake gasp.

Jongin scoffed beside Luhan. Luhan pinched his side.

"Luhan?" Sehun was really surprised to see Luhan at Seoul National University.

"What department are you?" Luhan asked.

"Art. You?"

"Of course Luhan too. And I hear that you're majoring in dancing?" Jongin asked.

Luhan glared at him.

Sehun nodded.

"I'll see you a lot then." Jongin said.

Sehun smiled. Luhan pouted. He was majoring in singing.

Actually, Luhan's mom had insisted Luhan to study literature.

Luhan refused boldly.

"I can't write, Mom."

Luhan's mom kept persuading him, but Luhan was bold.

Eventually, she gave up and let Luhan chose.

Luhan was thankful for that and promised his mom to be a good singer later.

His mom still insisted him to write though.

"You can do it as your hobby. I know you have the talent in you, dear."

"I'm not a best seller writer like you, Mom." Luhan whined.

"Maybe not. But you have the talent, Lu. Just try to write once in a while."

Luhan sighed.

"Or you can write everyday. Practice makes perfect you know. Every night you can-"

"Okay. Once in a while it is."

 

 

When Luhan said that he would stop loving Sehun when he graduated from high school was totally a big fat lie.

Luhan still had the habit to bring Sehun a box of milk every morning.

He still asked his Mom to pack two lunch boxes.

He still couldn't get over Sehun's gravity that kept pulling him in.

Being a smart and handsome student, Sehun was still popular in the campus, if not more popular than he already was in high school.

To make it worse, now Luhan had to deal with those fan girls, they were totally louder and scarier.

But Luhan was bold.

Luhan was still Sehun's biggest fan, and first fan, number one fan.

Luhan's feeling for Sehun never fade away.

Once, those girls ganged up and bullied Luhan.

Accusing him for being too over protective of Sehun when he was actually just a nobody to Sehun.

Luhan couldn't argue that. 

That was a fact. He was a nobody to Sehun.

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him.

Luhan didn't fight back when those girls attacked him.

He curled up on the ground.

Before he passed out, he heard footsteps.

He didn't know if he was imagining things.

He saw Sehun knelt before him after scolded those fan girls.

He never saw Sehun that furious before.

Behind him he saw Jongin.

"It's just Jongin." Luhan thought and passed out.

Luhan was sent to the infirmary immediately.

Turned out it was really Sehun that helped Luhan. Jongin and Chanyeol were there too.

Sehun brought Luhan to the infirmary, he carried him in his arm bridal style.

 

That morning, he was wondering why Luhan didn't greet him yet.

The class was about to start.

Sehun's uneasy feeling got worse when he realized some of the girls were missing too.

Sehun then checked on Jongin to ask about Luhan.

Jongin was just as clueless as Sehun

When they looked around, they met Chanyeol.

Chanyeol told them that he had saw Luhan walked to the back of the building earlier.

They ran quickly to the area.

But they were late.

Sehun saw Luhan laying on the ground.

He was furious.

If it wasn't for Jongin to pull him back, Sehun would have planted his fist to the girls' faces.

"Focus on Luhan!" Jongin told him.

Sehun had never lost his cool before.

He was a student president and he had enough experiences and knowledge of how to deal with quarrels and fights.

But seeing Luhan was bleeding and almost passed out like that, he could feel his blood boiled.

He had always felt sorry to Luhan and had a soft spot for him because he knew how much Luhan loved him.

He never hated Luhan.

He just sometimes felt annoyed because Luhan was too much.

Someone as kind as Luhan didn't deserve to be treated like this, especially not by his fan girls.

He couldn't help but to think that it was his mistake after all.

But Luhan surprised him when he woke up.

Luhan told him that he was fine.

"Yeahh... My precious handsome face was ruined a little. But beside that, I'm fine." Luhan was still wearing that smile.

Sehun smiled back at him and promised that something like that wouldn't happen ever again.

Sehun had reported the case to the dean.

Luhan was bullied and those bully girls was suspended for a week.

Luhan was so happy to hear that news.

He instinctively hugged Sehun.

Sehun was taken aback at first. But he hugged Luhan back.

"Sehun is really awesome!" Luhan squealed.

 

 

Learning from the former bully incident, Sehun decided that he had to tell Luhan himself that Luhan should stop.

He should stop loving Sehun like that.

All those habits that Luhan brought since high school should stop.

Sehun knew that their friends had been telling Luhan to stop since they knew Sehun didn't have the mutual feeling.

But Luhan was bold.

He never listened.

Somehow, Sehun knew that he would hurt Luhan. He didn't mean to do so.

But either he told him now or later would hurt Luhan eventually.

Luhan had wasted his time on Sehun.

 

Sehun thought he had found that mysterious poem writer.

He was a Chinese student majoring in literature, Tao.

Tao was a student from his high school but Sehun never noticed him before because they never went to the same class.

Now, as they were studying in the same campus, Sehun saw him in the library sometimes.

He looked sweet and calm.

It was Kyungsoo who had introduced Tao to Sehun.

Turned out that Tao was a really sweet person.

His Korean was not that good so he hardly spoke.

Tao was a year older than Sehun.

He was in the third class when Sehun found the poem, Sehun thought.

Until now, Sehun still had the framed poem hanging in front of his desk.

Every night, he still looked at it, read it over and over again.

It never failed to give him smiles.

Sehun always wanted to talk about the poem to Tao.

But he didn't have the courage to bring it up yet.

He had to tell Luhan clean and clearly.

After that, he would try to make his move with Tao.

That Chinese student seemed to have interest in Sehun too.

He knew Sehun and Luhan.

He said Luhan was an adorable junior that had the same course place with him.

Sehun didn't know what course Tao was talking about, but Sehun didn't care though.

Sehun never saw Luhan talked to Tao.

Sehun had most classes with Luhan and when he went to library to meet Tao, Luhan had another class.

They never gathered together before.

 

 

That day, when Luhan finished his last class, he immediately ran out from the class, even without bidding a goodbye to Kyungsoo who always went home together with Luhan. 

Luhan was so excited to see Sehun.

And for the record, Sehun had sent a text to Luhan.

Luhan read the text again.

"Luhan, meet me at the rooftop after your last class." 

His heart was beating so fast.

He ran up the stairs.

At last, he reached the roof top when he opened the door.

He saw Sehun was standing there, back facing him..

Luhan ran to him, still panting.

"Sehun-ahh." Luhan called.

Sehun looked back at Luhan and gave him his usual calm smile.

Luhan smiled back brightly.

"I need to talk to you, Luhan." Sehun started.

"Okay. Talk." Luhan said.

Sehun was preparing his words in his head.

"Ohh... Wait..." Luhan suddenly said and ducked into his bag.

"Tadaaa... I get you a wristband, Sehun-ahh."

It was a black and white wristband. It had the writing SEHUN in it.

"Here. Let me help you to put it on." Luhan said and grabbed Sehun's right hand.

"Awww... It looks good on you." Luhan said satisfied with his work.

"This is what I want to talk about, Luhan."

Luhan gave him a confused look.

Sehun heaved an empty sigh.

"All of this. The milk, the lunch box, all the gifts. You should stop it, Lu."

Luhan blinked. He froze. The wind caressed his hair, making it messy.

"Stop?" Luhan asked, still dazed.

"I don't mean to hurt you, Luhan. But you should really stop. You've wasted so much time on me uselessly."

Luhan smiled slightly.

He looked down and scratched his nape.

"I know it." He said. Sehun looked at Luhan in sorry.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you all this time. I just can't help it." Luhan said and laughed. fake.

"No. No. It's just that you've wasted your time on me. You shouldn't do that anymore."

Luhan nodded.

"I know your feeling Lu. But I'm really truly sorry to tell you that I don't feel the same."

Luhan looked at Sehun and gave him a smile.

"I know that. And that's not a problem for me."

"That's why I'm telling you to stop. Even though you keep being there for me, I'm afraid that I can't be there for you. I don't have that feeling for you, Luhan. I'm sorry if it hurts you." 

"No. I'm okay. You're not the first one to tell to stop."

But it actually hurted so much to hear it from you, Sehun-ahh.

"I'm sure you'll find someone better."

Luhan nodded.

He didn't want to hear that again, not from Sehun.

"But sehun-ahh, since this maybe the last time, I think I want to tell you this."

Luhan let out a deep breath and looked away.

"What is it?" Sehun asked.

"Can we still remain as friends?" Luhan asked.

"I promise I won't do those things again though. Just be friends. Normal friends." Luhan added.

Sehun laughed.

He was relief that it seemed like he didn't hurt Luhan that badly.

Sehun nodded.

"Of course, Luhan. Of course. You'll be my best friend." Luhan smiled.

Luhan took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and opened again to stare right at Sehun's eyes.

Sehun had the urge to look away from Luhan's beautiful eyes, but at the end, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

He stared back right into Luhan's eyes.

"Sehun-ahh.. The truth is, you are a star for me. I always see you as a star. Even though you're far far away in the sky, I don't care. But since you're this close to me, I just start doing those things, bringing you milk, lunch, stalking you and all." Luhan paused. Sehun remained silent.

"But start from tomorrow, I won't do that again." Luhan smiled.

Sehun could see pain in Luhan's eyes.

"But Sehun-ahh... Since you're a star for me, and a star's place is there far away in the sky, can i ask you a favor?"

Sehun nodded.

"If you have someone that you like, can you please not to... I mean can you..."

"I get it, Luhan. I won't date anyone just yet. And if I date someone later, you'll be the first person that I let to know."

Luhan let out a relief breath.

He smiled.

But when he looked up at sehun's face.

The pain in Luhan's eyes was unbearable, Sehun knew it.

"Luhan, I know it's hard for you. So, if you wanna cry, I--"

Luhan shook his head furiously.

Even though Sehun knew Luhan was in the edge of tears, Luhan still could manage to show a small smile.

He took deep deep breath again and again.

Sehun wanted to hug him, but he knew that it would make it harder for Luhan.

"I've ever heard that even there is a guy that makes you smile 100 times, you will still back to that one guy who makes you cry. Since I don't want you to be the guy that makes me cry, can you make me smile instead? It's okay even if it's just once, I'll count it as 100 times." Luhan smiled.

Sehun nodded.

"Can I sing you a song? I know how to play guitar." Sehun said.

Luhan nodded.

"Let's go to the music room."

They then went to the big music room.

There was a grand piano in the center of the stage.

Luhan and Sehun walked to the stage.

"Should I play piano instead?" Sehun asked.

Luhan nodded. Sehun walked to sit at the chair behind the piano. 

Luhan stood in front of the piano, back facing Sehun.

"What song do you want to hear?"

Luhan shook his head.

"Play anything you want." Luhan said.

"Really?"

Luhan nodded.

"Okay." Sehun said.

He started to play the piano.

An unfamiliar intro greeted Luhan's ears.

But he was sure that it was a mellow tune.

Sehun started to sing. He looked at Luhan's back.

He closed his eyes and let the music took him away.

 

 

I am searching for the one I can’t see anymore  
I am listening for the one I can’t hear anymore  
I can see the things I couldn’t see  
Can hear the things I couldn’t hear  
You’ve give me this power ever since you left me right here

Before, I was selfish and I didn’t care about you  
I didn’t understand your heart; I was a fool  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that I’m trying to change

It seems as if everything in my world somehow reminds me of you  
Each snowflake in the sky is like a teardrop that came from you  
I wish that somehow you would appear  
I wish you’d be by my side, right here  
Even with this power, I still cannot bring you back to me

Before, I was selfish and I didn’t care about you  
I didn’t understand your heart; I was a fool  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that I’m trying to change

If I could freeze time, I’d go back to you  
I open this book and see the pictures of us two  
On that page, you and I…  
back then when there was “you and I”

I’m not strong, but I can change because of you  
Because of your love  
You changed my everything (My whole life and more)  
Everything (My world from before)

Before, I didn’t understand how precious love was  
I thought when it ended, everything would be just fine  
Right now, I’m trying to change who I am  
And I know you’re not by my side  
But it’s because of your love that my love will go on

If I could freeze time (Oh, if I could)  
I’d go back to you (I’d go back to you)  
I open this book (of memories)  
It has the pain that we both knew  
As my tears fade away…  
snow begins to fall just like that day

I’m still searching for the one I can’t see anymore  
I’m still listening for the one I can’t hear anymore

 

 

Luhan didn't know when exactly he started crying.

He really wanted to look at Sehun's face, but he knew he couldn't.

He imagined Sehun had his eyes closed, fingers beautifully dancing with the tune.

Half into the song, Luhan felt his tears were flowing and it was unstoppable.

"Why do the lyrics sound so familiar?" Luhan thought.

Luhan really wanted to hear the rest of the song, but his emotion was too much.

He stood there, crying silently.

"At the end, Sehun still makes me cry."

Couldn't take it anymore, Luhan brought his hands to hide his sniffles.

Before Sehun finished the song, Luhan ran away.

 

When Sehun opened his eyes, Luhan was gone.

He knew it.

And he could swear that he heard Luhan sang along with him.

"It's impossible."

"How does he even know the lyrics?"

Being a music genius, Sehun had composed that song with the poem as the lyrics.

It was beautiful, Sehun had to admit.

He prepared the song for the mysterious poem writer.

But he sang it to Luhan instead.

Sehun sat there for a while, wondering if Luhan was fine after what he had told him.

A part of him knew that Luhan wasn't fine, but a big part of him wished Luhan would be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross post from AFF~
> 
> The lyrics are from EXO's Miracle in December English ver. by Silv3rt3ar  
> Enjoy reading ^o^  
> Comments are welcomed ;)
> 
> Aaaand, readers-ahh... Let's be friends ^o^
> 
>  
> 
> ©nightStar


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